5.0

this week's happiness:

1. I had a very laid back week in the office
everything went smooth, no very busy day, no overtime, no stressful time. I even managed to steal quick nap here and there this week :p

2. I lost weight (and body fat)!
i never weigh myself regularly, so when this friday i weigh myself and found out that i lost about 1.5 kg, and more than 0.5% body fat, i was so happy! those days with no rice at all paid off! :D

3. everything went well on saturday
there was this big thing happened on saturday, and it made my heart pumping faster. thankfully, everything went well and im pretty happy about that :)

4. i had a very nice weekend
after the 'big thing' on saturday afternoon, i had a very nice bowling and session with friends. definitely recharged my energy :)

5. i baked chocolate cookies for the first time
and although it turned out not as expected, but it's still good (at least for some people). next time will be better!

:-*

all these time, when someone ask me, what i want to be in the next 5 years, 10 years, 20 and so on, i always said 'i want to be happy'. some were confused, some were smiling, and some were smirking, like saying that 'this girl, dont have any dream.'. well, in fact, being happy is my dream.

some people relate dreams or achievements into career, money, income, travel, or family. for me, being happy includes all. you know, the feeling of looking at someone else smiling when you know that they smile because of you? or the feeling when someone say 'thank you' and hold your hand as if you just save their lives? its priceless.

life is easier when you start counting those small blessings and being thankful. start with listing down things that make you happy, or at least smile. those small unimportant things that can make you feel that you are so blessed. start with 5 things, then continue to 10, or 20. until you realise that your life is full with blessings :)

so here's my list for today:
1. not going to work because i have MC from the doctor
2. finished watching bridesmaid
3. blogwalking into some of my favourite blogs
4. morning kisses
5. my milk toof
6. bought flight tickets for my bestfriend's wedding in may
7. today is payday
8. seeing pictures of food
9. planning next year trips
10. looking at list of itineraries for this year

all i can say is, alhamdulillah :)

hi;

udah lama banget ga ngeblog. i know, this blog has been abandoned for too long. not that i dont love, not that i dont care, not that ive been dead. i was just.. lazy. kenapa malas sekali? sejujurnya karena ive been pretty occupied with some other things, like, lets say.. life? this year has been a rollercoaster for me. too many things happened. until the middle of this year, my work has been my life. there were times when i had to work from 9 am to 7 am the next day with only 30 minutes of sleep which was not really a sleep. more to curi-curi closing my eyes for 5 minutes, times by 6. but it paid off, (i think) my work has been acknowledge and the bosses know that i worked hard.

things happened this year. some that i never thought will happen, but apparently it did. i officially graduated, i went to places ive never been, i lost someone, i met new people, i saw new things, i had my heart broken. i learned a lot of things. i learned to believe, not to believe, to let go, to accept, to be more mature, to understand, to stand on my ground, to appreciate, to say sorry and mean it, to be thankful. i learned that people change. i learned that love and hate is separated by just a very thin line. i learned that nothing lasts forever. i learned that i could never please everyone. i learned to listen to my heart.

am i happy? yes. without doubt, this year is the hardest, so far. but i guess, this is how things have to be, so just let it be. i made mistakes, a lot of them. i hurt people, some of them badly. i took wrong steps, said wrong words, do wrong things. but thats life. i took risks. some paid off, some didnt. i never know what life will bring me, but thats the excitement, no?

EMO-tion

minggu lalu adalah minggu termellow sepanjang tahun ini kayaknya. dimulai dari kerjaan yang ngga ada abis-abisnya, deadline yang semakin mendekat, jalanan yang semakin hari semakin macet *hai KL, kamu kok sekarang udah semakin mirip jakarta?*, capeknya luarrrr binasa deh pokoknya. GONG!nya adalah jumat minggu lalu pagi-pagi ada meeting. berharap dateng jam 9 biar bisa santai-santai sarapan sebelum meeting, eh jalanan gak bersahabat, sampailah di kantor jam setengah sepuluh, yang mana adalah jam meeting dimulai.

duduk, dengerin, catet-catet, curi-curi browsing. sampe tiba-tiba disuruh pesen sarapan. yang nyuruh bukannya bos yaa, tapi klien gue aja gitu. lah, siapa dia? emosi sih, tapi yaudahlah ya, dia pengen makan gratis kali. pesenlah 5 porsi sarapan beserta minumnya. eh, abis makanannya dateng, terus disuruh minta sambel ke tukang makanannya. loh? kok ngelunjak. yaudahlah ya, tetep gue ambilin itu sambel. padahal guenya nggak makan! sama sekali! ih!

diakhiri dengan perdebatan tentang sesuatu, terus gue mau komen karena menurut gue, ini bagian gue, gue tau, dan dia gak tau tau amat *yes, ini masih ngomongin si klien itu*. eh, gue baru mulai ngomong satu kata, dia ngasih tangan semacam raja, nyuruh gue diem, seakan-akan ini gak penting dan gausah diurusin. and it happened twice in a row.

udah dong ya, emosi gue udah gak ngerti lagi. nahan nangissss karena masih harus jelasin ini itu. sampe meetingnya kelar, langsung kaburrr ke kamar mandi. gak tahan, netes, netes, netes, mewek deh di wc. kupikir setelah itu udah tuh, tenang, ternyata ibu CEO ngeliat muke gue kok senep amat. langsung dipanggil dan diajak ngomong. begoknya, karena masih emosi, gue mewek lagi. yes, didepan ibu CEO. untungnya beliau pengertian dan perhatian. gue malah dihibur dan diberi nasehat serta wejangan. disuruh belajar sabar dan gak ambil semuamuanya ke hati.

ternyata belum berakhir juga. jumat sorenya seakan-akan dunia konspirasi mau bikin gue tambah emosi lahir batin. jalanan macetnya luarrrrr biasa. padahal gak ada apa-apa. it took me 1.5 hours to reach home. biasanya cuma 15 menit ajah. sampe rumah langsunggg mbrebes mili mewek lagi karena merasa capek, useless, gak bertujuan, dikit-dikit salah, dan merasa sendirian. lengkaplah sudahhh. mewek sampe capekkk dan ketiduran.

ternyata emang PMS yaaa, pantes aja. gue sensinya berlebihan minggu kemaren. jadi anak paling emo sedunia kayaknya. dikit-dikit marah, ngambek, sedih. cih. menstruasi, kamu gitu amat ya. aku capek loh emosi naik turun semacam yoyo gini. udah ya? bulan depan jangan gini lagi? *sodorin kelingking*

fashgasm

MAU BANGET.

mmhhhhh..

*all images are from theselby

series of unfortunate events

kemarin adalah hari ter-penuh tantangan selama bulan ramadhan. entah kenapa deh, bawaannya emooo aja. sampe tiba-tiba kangen rumah banget dan pingin nangis.

diawali dari bangun dan ke kantor seperti biasa. cuaca udah mendung-mendung seakan tau hati gue sendu *caelah*. sejujurnya sih bukan sendu, tapi lebih kearah males dan gak terima kalo udah senin lagi. sampe kantor disambut oleh.. gak ada kerjaan. yaudah lah ya, browsing sana sini. tiba-tiba merasakan, kok ada yang aneh. ternyata, gigi geraham belakang gue numbuh dan sakit. SAKIT BANGET. pas dikacain eh ternyata emang miring numbuhnya. jadilah tiap nelen ludah, nyengir, atau ketawa sedikit heboh langsung sakit. udah ya, bete #1 deh tuh. melalui hari yang lambat cuma dengan browsing browsing (kerja dikiiiiit aja) terus nunggu di review sama bos-bos.

jadi tuh emang giliran semua karyawan di review (dan naik gaji, harusnya). entah kenapa giliran kita-kita yang islam dan puasa ini kok mepet bener sama magrib, padahal udah boleh pulang dari jam 5 harusnya. terus ibu bos nyadar, jadi dirubah tuh urutannya, yang gak puasa harap sabar nunggu, teman-teman muslim yang cantik duluan. harusnya. pada kenyataannya sih tetep yee, tiba-tiba si iran islam ktp yang ngakunya atheis kok duluan? yaudah deh gak papa. masih sabar. temen 1 batch gue baru kelar review, pertanyaan pertama gue 'did you get a raise?' yang dengan manis dijawab dengan gelengan. sedih dong gue. artinya no naik gaji sampe taun depan. mau dikasih makan apa anak-anak dirumah? gimana cita-cita gue punya segenggam berlian? liburan ke bora-bora? pupus sudah semua impian *pundung, menciut jadi segede kismis* bete #2 nih ceritanya.

posisi udah ngegeletakin kepala di meja sampe ketiduran dan mimpi. udah setengah 7 aja cin. tunggu punya tunggu, tinggal gue dong islam cantik terahir. emang bos-bos tau ya gue mure, dikasih giliran ke berapa aja nurut. tapi ini bulan puasa loh, gue kan gak mau buka puasa di kantor. tiba-tiba si iran islam ktp #2 nge-print review form. KOK GILIRAN DIA DULUAN? DIA KAN GAK PUASAA! *oh yea, i literally almost scream in the room saking udah emosinya. jangan lupa kalo gue masih sakit gigi* bete #3. ternyata pas temen gue yang lagi di review keluar, ibu bos dateng ke ruangan dan manggil... GUE. yea, i put my most win face ke si iran islam ktp #2. maunya sih joget ala chicken dance tapi bos-bos udah nunggu.

masuklah gue ke dalem ruangan. udah nggak deg-degan karena emosi udah berkecamuk nungguin kelamaan. dibacain self-review, komen orang-orang, apa yang harus diimprove, rencana kedepannya, dll dll yang sejujurnya udah kebaca banget. most of the things that they said i did say it myself in my self-review form. tiba-tiba pakbos #1 ngetik sesuatu di laptopnya, trus nyikut-nyikut ibu bos suruh baca. terus pakbos #2 ngetik sesuatu juga. terus ibu bos manggut-manggut seakan setuju. dan tiba-tiba, 'we will give you a raise of blablablablablablabla' blakangnya gak penting yang penting gue naik gaji.

ALHAMDULILLAH. setelah bete bertubi-tubi. berkah ramadhan ini judulnya *sujud syukur*.

dan tadi pagi gue bangun, eeeh ternyata eke datang bulan.

pantesan aja gue emo kemarenan.

*nyengir gede* *ngunyah keripik tempe* *maap lagi gak puasa*

ahem

iya, jadi ceritanya sih sok mau rajin posting. tapi kok postingan terakhirnya hampir 1 bulan yang lalu? kenapa? *tanya pada rumput yang bergoyang* sungguh aku tidak sibuk, karena sejujurnya project kantor baruuuu aja kelar. yang ada, kerjaan gue tiap hari cuma bengong menatap laptop, baca-baca blog orang *kepo*, baca-baca forum, dan sudah bisa dipastikan berujung pada belanja online yang pastinya bikin bangkrut.

ngomong-ngomong ya, sebentar lagi bulan puasa abiis. sejujurnya gue sedih. kayaknya, bulan puasa ini adalah bulan puasa yang paling ngga bulan puasa buat gue. gimana mau berasa bulan puasa kalo di kantor gue dikelilingi orang-orang yang ngga puasa. jadi ya berasa hari biasa aja, cuma ngga makan dan minum. beda rasanya kalo di rumah, aura ramadhan berasaaaaa banget. kalo udah azan magrib rasanya seneeeeeng banget. belom lagi disini mau teraweh susah karena mesjidnya jauh *alesan*. dan sepanjang 21 hari bulan ramadhan ini, gue cuma sekali bangun dan sahur. sekali aja. sisanya? bablas angine. langsung inget kalo dirumah pasti dibangunin, udah ada makanan, sahur bareng sambil nonton lawak-lawak kurang bermutu, sampe akhirnya subuh terus solat bareng. jadi kangen rumah *mewek*

tapiii tapiii tapiii, gue bakal pulang minggu depan! yay! walaupun dikata jakarta makin lama makin macet, makin semrawut, dan makin banyak mobil (dan motor), tapi aye tetep cinte! gimanapun juga disana tempat lahir beta, dibuai dibesarkan bunda *nyanyi*. layaknya lagu slank, i miss you but i hate you. nyokap gue bilang sih cinere udah semakin menggila macetnya, intolerable lah pokoknya. ada sih, sedikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit (satu partikel atom aja *cie ilmiah*) perasaan ga pengen pulang karena malessss banget ketemu macet, chaos, kesenjangan sosial, de el el de el el, tapii tapii tapii gimana lagi dong, ibu bapak (kakek nenek kakak adek tante oom) disitu semua. jadi, gue memutuskan untuk pulang! *ya emang kan?*

oiya, 1 lagi. dirgahayu Indonesia ke 66! tua tua keladi, makin tua makin jadi! jadi apa? jadi bagus dooooong!

makeover

As you can see, I revamped the blog and changed the layout. This reminds me of how I used to struggle with all CSS and HTML just to come up with the layout that I like. I didnt use any CSS and HTML now tho, too lazy. And doing CSS and HTML remind me of what I studied so yeah, no thank you.

On another note, I gained weight. Yea yea yea, just like old times. But this time, I cant lose it back. Too busy to workout and I keep eating like a pig. blame my work and the location of my project. Just go downstairs and you can find mini markets *notice the S*. Turn left and you'll find indian restaurant with a nice banana leaf rice. Turn right and you'll find chinese stalls. Go far a bit and you'll find malay stalls. Drive for 5 minutes and you'll find a huge shopping complex with lotsa choice of eating places. Blame my work that makes me stay in the office until late and have my dinner after normal hours. Blame my office mates that always ask me to buy something to munch.

AND, BLAME MYSELF. That cannot resist the temptation. That is too lazy to workout. That is always craving for foods.

I really really have to lose weight. Hopefully bulan puasa can be the perfect time to do so *crossing fingers*

Happy fasting everyone. May we all be blessed during this holy month :)

HELLO I AM BACK!

I miss this blog. I miss writing and whining. The latest update is last year. Wow. Cannot say I've been busy because I haven't been THAT busy not to write anything. Lets just say that I've been too lazy. As usual, laziness kills.

Too many things happened during this one year. How about recapping what have happened?

1. I GRADUATED *harus huruf besar*

Yes. I am now officially a Bachelor of IT (Hons. Security Technology). After four years struggling with things I dont like and dont really understand, finally! I havent had my graduation tho. Blame my lame uni for that.

2. I got a job

Currently Im working as an analyst in one of a software house company in KL. Have to say that I've been blessed. After 2 months being unemployed, I started to get bored and decided to apply to some companies. I still remember how it happened. I applied in the afternoon. Couple of hours later I got a call from one of the company, asking to have an interview. Two days later, I came to KL to have an interview with them. They straightaway offered me the job, but I decided not to take it on the spot since I had another interview the next day. Long story short, the other company sucked and I decided to take the offer. I didnt regret since I got so much experiences. I learned a lot during this 8 months and I believe I will still learn so many things.

3. I moved out from Melaka

Yes, after almost five years staying there, I finally moved out and moved in KL. Very different cities, I might say. KL reminds me of Jakarta, which I really love. My housemates are super nice and we're getting closer like a family. I cant be more blessed :)

Basically those are three major things happened in my life. Others are still the same. I still love shoes, I still eat a lot *by the way, I gained weight like A LOT. Different story tho*, and I still have the same boyfriend that I love :)

We'll see if I can keep up with this blog like last time. I really miss blogging tho. Reading my old posts reminded me of how free I was last time and blogging was so much fun!

~.~

HAIII!!!!!

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err..

hai?

hello? *ngintip dibalik pintu*

i am very very very very very sorry, its been two months since my last post :( i really want to! sumpah! but college never been this hectic, together with the final project, total of six assignments, numerous quiz, midterms, not to tell you errands like renewing my student visa, finding internship place, and de blah and de blahh

but nooow, im proudly pronounce that my final year project is finisheeeeeed!!! completed!!!! and im soooo proud of myself! :)

how are youuuu people? i miss this blog :( i miss writing and whining and telling stories. although i update my other blog and my twitter daily (mostly), but writing long sentences and stories without characters limit is something different. i read other people blogs and always think to write in this blog but there's just no time :( but its all over now, i just have to be focus on final exams and my college life is (unofficially) finish.

starting next month, i will be working as an intern in one of the IT Support company for the national aviation company (yes, it is g*rud* :D) for four months. i never worked before. at least as a corporate girl. am i scared? of courseee!!! i dont know what to do, what to say, how to act, i dont even know what to wear! but that's another matter, the most important thing here is i finally have a place to do my internship and yes, my final year project is done, and now im one week away from going back home :)

life is hard for the past 4 months but its still good, indeed :) ive been blessed with soooooo many things, seen and unseen, and i cant thank God enough for that. there are times that i felt like everything is falling apart, like all the things im doing is not right and not on track, but finally its all happening :)

lets just say that this is a new start for me, and this blog too :) i will keep posting things but i guess that's all for now.

XXOO